my mother has had a biopsy done to confirm a diagnosis of lung cancer. she has had enough of doctors as she had several other bouts of cancer and other medical issues and now she is avoiding making the appointment with her oncologist. I understand that it is her choice and her life but that is hard to deal with. I don't know how to "hide" my worries from her as I don't want her to feel any worse than she does. She lives with me at the moment and I am constantly going into another room to have my breakdowns. I don't know what to do. I am a constant worrier and always have been but now it seems out of control. I don't know what to do. How can I take care of her when I am having trouble keeping my sanity? All I have is her - everyone else is already gone.
jacque, You do have alot on your mind. While I undersand that you want to keep your feeling away from your mother, do you think that that is helping you out at all? If you cannot share your feelings with your mom, is ther a dupport gorup you can find that you can attend - either a cancer support group or a caregivers support group. I am sure there are others families that are in similiar situations or have similiar feeling to yours. It would be great to attend a support group to see how they have dealt with and are dealing with that same issue in their families. Continue to take care of yourself and you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there and pat yourself on the back for all the good you have already done. cg33
Jacque; I could have written that letter myself. My husband was diagnosed with lung cancer 11/19/2009. That was the darkest day in our lives and it is still haunting us. We had a good life going; it couldn't have been any better; then suddenly this disease hit us like a ton of bricks! Our lives have been turned upside down. I'm having a real difficult time knowing what to do, when to do it, and how I can help him. With cancer, there seems to be no future, and with no future hope begins to diminish. I'm being told that I must be positive; "There is nothing positive about cancer!" It breaks my heart to see him in pain, to see the great personality change, to see the helpless look in his face, the tears we shed daily because he feels guilty and I can do absolutely nothing for him. I've never felt so out of control, totally lost, and helpless. I, also have to find my area to have my breakdowns. Until I read your letter, I thought I was the only one going through this insanity. I don't know if we will be able to help one another, but I know we are not alone.
Jac and Flo.. The great thing about this site is that we can find that that we are not alone at all. Others have gone before us in their caregiving experiences, some are going though it now and others will soon be experiencing what we live. cg33.