Hello everyone, I am new here. I will try to keep my story as short as possible. My dad was recently diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. He has very limited use of his legs, and can pretty much only get around with his walker and tires easily. He just finished a round of steroids and is waiting to hear whether or not he can find help paying for stronger meds (he doesn't have insurance and is only 64, too young for Medicare.)
The problem is that my dad needs help during the day. Mostly just needs someone to talk to, cook meals, clean house, and drive him to the doctor and do his shopping. I live 500 miles away and he's expecting me to pretty much abandon my home and move in with him. Moving in with him permanently is not an option. I am an army wife and my husband is currently deployed, but will be back in 6 months. I have two older sisters, and they are either unable or unwilling to help. My dad does not want to leave his house and is not wanting to use a home health aide. Since he's been diagnosed, he's been emotionally abusive if he does not get his way. As long as I do exactly what he wants, exactly the way he wants it, he's fine, if I don't, I get ridiculed. I know he's under a lot of stress right now and doesn't feel well, but I don't think it's fair for him to take it out on me. I'm feeling very overwhelmed from driving back and forth between his house and mine (again, a 500 mile drive one way).
Does anyone have any advice? I know I sound like a bad daughter, and my dad even told people I was a bad daughter when I couldn't get to him right when he wanted me to due to car trouble. I'm just trying to find something that will work for my dad and for my life as well.
daisy10. You are not a bad daughter. You need to be careful and take care of your own health also. Try and contact the local county Social Services agency in the county your father live in. They may have a large list of agencies you or he can contact to get the services and help he needs. Can you find a local (to you) caregiver support group you can attend. There you can vent, listen, learn and get some good info that may assist you. cg33
Go to Care.com and hire a caregiver in his area. Care.com has back ground checks and the website can explain more how it works. I have been a nurse aide for 20 yrs and I went to school to be a medical assistant but I divorced in my last quarter and moved. I needed a job fast and medical assistance aren't in demand in my hometown. Long story short, I found a job at Care.com Good Luck
After my Mom had a stroke (which left her blind) she became angry and disagreeable (and very mean to me). Now that she's passed on, I can more clearly see that it wasn't "her" but her illness that caused most of the issues between us. Please try to see your Dad as a person having to cope with a horrible diagnosis and muster up all the compassion you can for his sake and for yours. Then, get help for him so that all the burden of caregiving is not on your shoulders -- you have a right to a good life too. Here's a link to some helpful resources: http://checkincalls.wordpress.com/helpful-resources/ Good luck and best wishes.
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